I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
