Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
third nipple confirmed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
