My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
