is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
