I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
