I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
