the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
