I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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