we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
