Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
