if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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