is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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