is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
