I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
