I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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