Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
