You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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