Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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