I heard we made out
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
