Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
