I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize