You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
try to milk me bitch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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