We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
