the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
