Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
