he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
operation have a gay friend backfired
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize