i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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