If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
