it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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