Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize