There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
