She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
