I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
