I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Enjoy the penises
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
