Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
