I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
