She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
