Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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