I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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