Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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