Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
