If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
