It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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