she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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