Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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