Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
