At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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