exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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