Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
