We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
