this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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