Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Panties = found
Randomize
