using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
