i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
