Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
