You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
