Whod you bang
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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