none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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