Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
